Campus Life Good Boy Gone Bad #6: A unique Bribe!

A unique Bribe!

The election fever could be felt campus wide and for Freshas the experience was electrifying. The goons had taken their place, escorting the wannabes while being paid by the hour. The contestants had jammed every space with their posters, promising us nirvana and criticizing the administration. Chants of Comrade Power filled the air all night long.

Angie was vying for the gender affairs position. In the posters many who had met her in person thought that her photo was a creation of clever tricks by a whiz kid on Photoshop. In the week that her posters were all over, the President and Wangari Maathai had become increasingly concerned about global warming; yes she was that hot!

I was alone in my room, when Angie walked in with a goon in tow. She wore a denim miniskirt and a fluffy black top.

“Hi, I am Angie, and this is Jack” As a soon as she said that the hoodlum, Jack, left probably to light a cigarette.

“It is nice to meet the hottest girl among the contestants, I am Rain” I enthused as I pointed to a seat next to my bed.

“Thank you. So Rain I came to request not only your vote but also your support among the first years…” my mind had been temporarily distracted by her thighs. She was sexy, her rear was well formed and it was a shame that she had to sit on my dusty chair.

“Yea, I know a couple of first years who can give you a vote,” I whispered back after my short reverie.

“Well, I hear you’re popular among the freshas how many votes can you deliver?”

“About 50,” I said pulling a figure in the air.

“Can you make it 200?” With that she stuck her tongue out and slowly rotated it on her upper and lower lip. Her torture did not stop there; she slowly rubbed her thighs while separating her legs and slowly pulled her skirt upwards. It was not rocket science to see that I was being bribed.

Of course a unique bribe that the Kenya Anticorruption Authority would not come running after me. It would also come in handy given that my girlfriend, Stella, had denied me the same the previous week. Angie was taking her time with her body language, her eyes had steadied and she inched closer to me.

“So Rain, do you think you can deliver those votes?” she had gained audacity and was now holding my cheek. It felt like seventh heaven and my body went numb. It was something that I had wanted all along. An option was to pull a Joseph of the Bible moment and flee from this crazy B****. Another option was to play along. As my mind raced with the options at its disposal, the door creaked and my roommate Sila walked in.

“Seems my offer has been interrupted, but think about it Rain,” Angie said and walked out. On the doorway, she thrust her poster to Sila’s hand then trotted out. At least now I had more time to think about Angie’s offer.

Campus Life Good Boy Gone Bad #7: Pants halfway down!s in the village!

Everything had been perfectly set. Sila had been exiled for the night and every contingency well taken care of. Even as I changed the music on the borrowed stereo I felt apprehensive; unsure if I was ready. I pocketed for the umpteenth time to ensure that my rubbers were still intact.

While still in the last minute check ups, I heard a knock at the door.

“Can I come in?”

“Wow Angie, you look perfect! You can come in and never leave!”

“Thanks. You know I got a little time to waste, so let’s hurry up. “

I had worked day and night to get votes for Angie for the gender affairs position. Through hook and crook, I had a list of over 200 students singing along Angie’s tune and time was nigh for Angie to fulfill her part of bargain. On the eve of the voting day, she was in my room.

The good thing with an experienced chic is that, she will lead the way when you hesitate. In a short time, Angie was running her fingers on my hair, asking me what I expected of her. I reciprocated by holding her thighs and running my hands on them over and over again. It felt like an oven. She was always a step ahead of me, and she was now unzipping my trouser. Within a short while we were clutched like a pair of Siamese twins, it was then that I heard a knock on the door.

I dismissed it at first but then I heard a familiar voice calling out my name. I reached for my trouser then went for the doorknob.

“Chris, what is it?” My best friend Chris, stood at the door panting.

“Man, you got to get out of here. You got to hurry up!”

“Why?”

“Well, your girlfriend, Stella, is on her way here!” Chris whispered as he closed the door behind me to avoid Angie eavesdropping on our conversion.

“No, that is not possible; I left her going home to see her parents!”

“Dude if you don’t want to be screwed for life, you gotta get that girl out of here!”

My steamy session with Angie had to be cut short. With brief explanation she hurriedly left accompanied by Chris. As soon as they left, Stella was at my door.

“Hon, I thought you would be home right now. What happened?”

“I missed a Matatu. Aren’t you happy to see me?” Stella said as she walked into the room.

“I am pleased to see you. I just thought you would be home right now. Have a seat, let me get you something to drink.”

Even as we sat listening to the music, my conscience kept judging me. Why had I contemplated cheating on my girlfriend with a tired third year, who was out for her own gain? The questions kept my mind busy but I was glad that I had not been caught. I could not thank Chris enough. He was the kind of a friend that sticks closer than a brother.

Campus Life Good Boy Gone Bad #8: Betrayal

Betrayal from your best friend hurts to the core. Even worse is when it is when about a girl. When Chris escorted Angie out of my room, he had gone ahead and slept with her. In his insatiable lascivious appetite, he forgot about the Bro’s code.

“Hey man, how could you?” I just could not believe Chris had done that to me.

“Men, that girl was on fire….She even wanted to come back to your room. You know that would be suicidal knowing that your girlfriend was there!” Chris explanation had no credibility in my own view. “Men, we’re supposed to be Bros..she was mine men. You can’t eat in the same plate that I have designated. ..You ruined it…I just don’t know what to think of you anymore!”

“Well, what can I say? Makosa imefanyika! Just let it go! With her phallic addiction, Angie is not a girl you can rely on. Right now she’s probably facing the ceiling in someone else’s room!”

“Stop playing that card man. Admit it! You screwed me up. You see I am tempted to think that it was a set up.”

He had to pay for it. A few days’ later I was at Chris’ room. I had an elaborate plan of equaling the score. I was in utter shock to my find my girlfriend, Stella there.

“Look who we have here, a whole crowd!” I shouted trying to hide my surprise.

“Rain, what were you doing with Angie?” Stella’s eyes were fixed on me.

“Well for a start, what are you doing here?”

If you have to win an argument with a woman, trying looping around. It goes a long way, men as Chris Rock would say, we’re handicapped in arguments because we try to make sense while women care the least if they make sense, all they want is to fix the blame on you.

“I came here to ask Chris about Angie?”

“Stella, Angie is a politician she had hired me to deliver a few votes. You know I can’t cheat on you with that cheap b****!”

“Oh yeah now she is that distasteful!” Stella was not about to let it go.

“You tell me, she is a politician and will go to extreme ends to get her votes. I just had a contract with her. Strictly business,” I was cool and composed.

“Chris is that true?” Stella shifted her focus to Chris. Chris gave me that one hard glare, whether to support me or not. It was like giving me an ultimatum.

“Well, Rain is saying the truth. There is nothing between him and Angie!” Chris said without battling an eyelid.

Campus Life Good Boy Gone Bad #9: Chill!

There are two weeks that every college student dreads; the exam weeks. Even worse is when it is your first exam, especially for those of us who had the notion that university education was all fun and laxity when it came to education.

When I walked into the exam room, and flipped over the questions, one thing came stirring in my mind. “The pass mark is 40%,” The dean had said during the orientation. Majority of us burst out laughing. He adjusted his glasses closer to his eyes then went on to state as a matter of fact “You will realize that 40% is not that easy to attain!” he had not minced his words.

Chris on my right was busy turning the tiny sheaves of papers that were his mwakenya. Earlier on he had stated that there was no way he was going to that exam room ‘naked’. He had guts. Sila, my choppie rommie, was seated in front of me. The way he kept turning pages of his answer booklet, it sure was a set of ABC to him.

It is at such moments that I had wished I had not traded an insult with the lab technician who was now our invigilator. He had caught me in the labaratory, telling a girl classmate how a pendulum swinging can be compared to…...never mind. Well that had triggered a bitter confrontation and now in the exam room, his eyes were fixed on me. Looking above I also wished God would shine light on me. But it had been ages since I stepped in a church, after repeatedly nursing hangovers on Sunday. Confronted with such a trilemma, the position was to try and get the bare minimum.

With 3 questions each 20 marks, all I needed was to get 24 marks. Which meant a 12 in one question and 6 in each of the two other questions. The only problem was that getting a 12 in one question was possimpible (where the possible and impossible meet)! I tickled Sila’s back, I needed help. He responded by waving two fingers, the index and middle fingers, in the air, DP style. That meant chil, relax. I relaxed.

“Hey, Chris got something over there?” I whispered to Chris. He gawked at me, then to the invigilator, then slightly pushed his answer sheet next to me. For one I was sure he had dubbed correctly, the second I was not sure while the third, he had dubbed the wrong stuff. Time was running out. For the second time, I reached for Sila’s sweater and again he raised two fingers in the air.

Chill Rain!

But time was running out. Trying to slump backwards, the invigilator’s eyes were on me. I re-read the questions again. I remembered a thing or two from high school then scribbled it down. Ten minutes to time, I was sure I had not attained the pass mark. In a last minute ditch, I pinched Sila, and without turning he raised two fingers.

“Damn it, just one question!” I whispered rather angrily. He did not budge.

Ten minutes later, I handed in my answer sheet knowing that my fate lay squarely with the lecturer.

“Sila, why did you tell me to chill yet you were not intending in helping me out?”

“I did not tell you to chill,” Sila answered back and kept walking down the stairs.

“So what with the two finger salute? The F finger could have sufficed!” Frustration was taking over me. “I was reminding you of rule number 2 on the answer sheet!”

“S***! You are crazy!”

“It reminds you that cheating in exams will lead to automatic expulsion!”

“Go to hell!”

Campus Life Good Boy Gone Bad #10: The greener grass in the village!

“I will miss you, so much,” I whispered to Stella’s ear as I held her close.

“I will miss you too hon…But remember you promised to come visit me over the holiday,” Stella whispered back.

“Mzeiya gari inataka kuondoka,” the tout shouted.

“I will call daily and I will visit you!” I kissed her cheek then released her.

I wondered how I was going to endure two months in Stella’s absence. Just the other day, we had parted all night, threw caution to the wind and imagined that were the only ones in the world! As the Matatu navigated the corners, I wiped a tear that trickled down my cheek.

Even as I boarded a Matatu to the Great Rift, I felt nervous. It was time to face the man who pays for the damn thing; my dad. My dad was one person whom you could lie to on phone but not face to face. To make it worse he could just let you lie and lie until you entangle yourself in your own lies. The only solace was that there was no report card to take home! As I stepped on our gate, the dogs backed, clearly forgetting who I was!

“Come one Simba! Hey Rain! You are back!” Wesley, our shamba boy could not hide his joy. He shook my hand, almost breaking it.

“So how is the city?” that was a way of asking what I had brought him. I handed him a pair of jeans and his yellowed dental formula was all out.

“Thank you so much!”

“You are welcome.” I said as I handed him my luggage.

“You see Ann, that woman who lives next to the church? She gave birth to twins but the kids are dissimilar to her husband, I keep telling people that she separated her legs for that white missionary!”

At that point I knew he was beginning his cumulative updates and even though I was tired I heard to listen. “Dan died too last month, he was too old. Did you hear that Simon too died? No? Well people suspect that it was ulcers but I think it’s mdudu! Ever since he kept bringing different women to his house I knew he was courting trouble.” Wesley continued with his chatter at which point I lost him.

He was one person who duty was to bring me up to speed with every development. “Your dad did sell that goat…blah blah” until he mentioned a name. “You remember Emma?” Wesley said holding my shirt.

“Emma? Is she still in school?”

“No she completed form four and she has been asking for you. She wants to come to the city. And by the way she has grown very pretty!” Wesley winked at me knowing well that last statement would ignite my interest.

A few minutes latter I was seated on our patio, sipping a glass of milk, when Emma gently pushed our gate. Our veranda was in such a position that you can see someone from the gate walking to the house. She surely had grown beautiful. Her full figure was complemented by her attire and as she walked to the main house, her butt wiggled and swung in rhythm and in sync.

“Emma! Welcome long time no see! You look beautiful! Your mother must be treating you so well,” I enthused as I engulfed her in a bear hug I felt her immense energy. She had learnt to hug so tightly!

“Rain, it is good to see you after all this time! How is Nairobi?”

“Nothing much, just masomo! It never ends!”

Boy isn’t amazing how girls grow. It was just the other day, when Emma was just a confused pimpled faced teenager, roughing boys and throwing insult at any of them that looked her direction, but now my eyes were all over again. And now I was running up and down thinking what to offer her. Then I unloaded my package of the latest DVDs at least that would give me a reason to visit her. The unfortunate person was my cousin whom the DVDs were destined for in the first place!

Campus Life Good Boy Gone Bad #11: Treading on a military ground!

A sunny Saturday afternoon saw me hesitating behind the red painted gate. I knew her parents would not be at home but then just incase the meeting failed then probably they would be at my case. My weak reason of collecting my DVDs would be probably save my ass.

The gate was open so I pushed it and walked slowly, to the main house. I was a few metres from the main house when Emma came out from the kitchen, a coy smile planted on her lips. She glowed in her print dress.

“Hi,” she said as I engulfed myself in her hug.

“I am good, you look good.”

“Thanks. Well here I am. Mum just left and it’s only me and the house help. Dad as you know is quite rare to see him around. He just appears when least expected,” She paused for a while as the last statement sent a chill down my spine. “Welcome in,” she motioned me to the door that stood adjoined to my position.

“I loved those DVDs..especially how I met your mother. I love that Barney character..even though he is a womanizer and he is stinking rich!”

“Yap, that guy is irresistible! Anyway how have you been?”

“Just watching the comedies and helping in the house work. I also want to come to Nairobi and study Nursing,”

“Oh you want to be a nurse? Nurses make good mothers!”

“I wanna go for it! What drink can I get you?”

“Chang’aa, would do,” I quipped leisurely then studied her bewildered face. “Just kidding, give me a glass of water.”

“Have a look at this photo album, I will be back,” she said after handing me a glass of water. Emma’s family comprised of three boys and Emma. She was the first born and the rest of her siblings were in primary school. Most of her photos were those while in high school. There were few photos of her mother and sibling but the image of her father immediately sparkled my interest.

Her towering dad in an imposing military outfit sent an all too familiar unwritten warning to me. He was in the army and was reputed with knocking off jaws of people he differed with. In our cigarette and Chang’aa laden village, he never trusted any young man near his only daughter. They were all the same; trying to get into her pants then sprint away in case she fell pregnant, he reasoned.

Half an hour later Emma appeared in a butt moulding jeans and a white t-shirt imprinted with the country’s flag. The clothing sensually curved out her full figure to an exquisite being.

“Did you recognize everyone in the album?”

“No, but that is not of interest now, I wish I had a camera here, I would take you a picture that would put be unforgettable!” She moved her index finger on my forehead to indicate that I was naughty. But in that move I sensed courage.

At that point my phone rung. “Let me take this,” I said as I walked out noticing that it was my girlfriend Stella on the line. “Hey, how are you?”

“It’s Hon..baby, why did you sound plain?” Stella’s voice came through from the earpiece. “Well I am with my Dad…Will call you later.” She hung the line without further conversation.

“Don’t worry a classmate finding out how holiday is,” I informed Emma as I walked back in. “How is it?” she inquired staring at me and expecting an honest answer.

“I am in the best company my dear, what better way to enjoy the holiday?” She just smiled. It was some minutes to seven and the sun had already set. I knew her mother would come in anytime. Some day I would have the audacity of facing her face to face but not today. Emma saw me off to the gate.

Just outside the gate she could not go further. We stood face to face saying unending bye byes. The crescent moonlight provided partial light that made her eyes glow like a star. I held her in one long hug, and then moved my hands to hold her back. I did not want to leave her…as I held her hand for one other minute, our serene moment was disrupted by the sound of a fast approaching car; a land rover.

“I gotta go, now” I whispered out.

“You’re right, it’s him!” With that she quickly headed for the gate as sought a different route home.

Campus Life Good Boy Gone Bad #12: Court Martial!

The sound of a roaring landrover, woke me up. It was 8 o’clock and the military man was already in the compound. I peered through the window and after parking his earth mover, he went straight to my dad who was outside taking his breakfast.

“Rain, you are in trouble! Dad wants to see you!” Wesley shouted knocking at my door.

“Go away, tell him I will come,” I said as I lazily put on my boxers and my trousers. I headed first to the kitchen to take breakfast. I was buying time so that my dad could calm down the irate Army Man.

“Rainmaker! Come over here!” My dad shouted his lungs out. He was angry, I could tell from his tone. I strolled slowly towards the two. Emma’s dad was in tight t-shirt that exaggerated his biceps and well built torso. He wore military trousers and combat boots; uh scary! I stretched out my hand for a handshake but he shoved it away.

“What the hell is wrong with you?” my dad yelled out.

“What are you talking about?” I played innocence.

“First I asked you to be here, but you have been wasting my time!”

“Well…I…” I stammered with nothing to say in my defense.

Emma’s dad heavy breathing scared me, but I felt a little consolation in my dad’s presence. He had not uttered a word and I did not know what was going in his mind; he just kept breathing like an overburdened bull.

“What were you doing with Timon’s daughter?” my dad’s glare was on me.

“Yes, what do you want from my daughter?” Timon held me by my shoulder, and it hurt very much.

“Nothing, just catching up..” my voice was barely audible.

“Young man don’t play games with me!” Timon’s baritone voice kept increasing in steps such that the last one came out as a roar. He squeezed my shoulder more and I cringed in pain.

“Rain, what kind of an adult are YOU? I thought you were mature! Any man that who keeps following women is a person who has lost direction. If you are guided by an erection, then there is nothing you will achieve. You are doomed to failure my son and if you want to go in that direction, then you have my full curse. It is a shame, I thought University education would make you wiser. Immorality will surely lead to your downfall Youngman…”

Listening to my dad utter such words to me was more painful than a cane. I felt like walking away from them, but I could not.

“You are ultimately responsible for your life or destruction…” my dad said with a grim of finality.

“I should never see you near my Emma or my house!” Timon bellowed out just to rub it in.

I headed straight to my room pushing away Wesley who wanted a breakdown of all the unfolding. I bolted the door and as I recounted every word my dad had uttered, it was a bitter pill to swallow. At that point I reached out for my cell-phone knowing that only one person would calm me down.

“Hallo,” I whispered feebly.

“Hon, what’s up?” Stella’s soothing voice came through the phone.

“It’s my dad, we argued over…..over….” what was I supposed to say?

“Tell me baby, what did your dad say to you?”

“Well it is about his old rickety vehicle, I took it out without his permission and now he is blaming me for everything!” My imaginations had come in handy.

“Don’t worry swiry, we shall one day buy our own car, just try to understand him,” Stella was all the medication I needed. She was so sweet and I was already feeling better!